I've tried to be very transparent about our life situation. January 20th, 2025, taking the advice of those who keep us accountable, I started a few month’s sabbatical as the pastor of the church we planted in 2017. We literally packed up everything and moved two hours away to a fixer-up house we inherited a few years ago. We’re living in a borrowed RV on the front lawn right now.
The transition from focusing on the Sunday morning "experience" to disciple-making and house churches has been a challenge. Over the past few years, we lost a lot of church people. It got to the point last year that I started driving rideshare to help make income ends meet. What I didn't really expect was how many disciple-making opportunities there would be just driving people around.
But the struggle continued and it became clear at the end of December that something had to change dramatically. And so here we are in East Tawakoni, Texas. A little lake town of less than 1,000 people.
My primary skillset is as an audio engineer, but I also am a programmer who can build websites and apps. We arrived with no real source of income and opportunities started popping up–but a month in, nothing stable has solidified. This past week, bills and obstacles were piling up and I had some moments of just feeling lost. And I had prayed this over and over but didn't feel, hear, or see an answer.
"Jesus, I need a job and a stable source of income!"
I've posted about finding a new coffee shop about ten minutes away from our new RV life. It's called Sacred Grounds and is part of a larger ministry called Community Seeds. The founder is an amazing guy and we hit it off immediately. What they do for the community is amazing. And they also need a couple of websites and some other things right in my wheelhouse. Several connections with other churches and businesses in the area also shared needs for some of the technology things I have experience in.
Logistically, it seemed to make sense to start a local ad agency. But everything I tried to do in that direction just didn't give me peace. Something was wrong. I'm missing something. But what?
"What am I supposed to do to make an income, Jesus?"
Silence. No peace. No answer. But I felt like I was supposed to reach out and talk to the coffee shop guy. That conversation happened Friday. I didn't really have an agenda, just a feeling that we needed to talk and I needed to listen.
If you know me, you know that one of my life challenges is drowning in opportunity. I'm a new idea a minute kind of guy–and can get myself over-committed in a heartbeat. Not really inclined to the whole sabbatical concept, though rest is important. So I started the conversation with Coop, by sharing how lost I was feeling and how many opportunities were cropping up, but I had no peace.
Coop sat back in his chair, looked at me, and said something like, "That's a lot. I'm hearing so many different things... but what is your one thing? Do you know what your purpose is?"
I didn't hesitate. "Yes. I'm a disciple-maker. That's the only priority. Make disciples that make disciples."
"Then do that. Seek the Kingdom first." Then Coop started quoting from Matthew 6, and this wave of peace filled the room.
I talk and post a lot about Kingdom first. Love first. That my only job is to love God, love people, and make disciples. And suddenly I realized that wasn't really what I was seeking.
Matthew 6:25 (NET)
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Isnʼt there more to life than food and more to the body than clothing?
“But I need a job, Jesus!”
Nowhere did Jesus say job first. Meet my needs first. Give me the plan for tomorrow first. Kingdom first is easy to say, but do I really have faith enough to live it? God takes care of the birds and flowers–do I really trust Him to take care of us?
Matthew 6:31-34 (NET)
31 So then, donʼt worry saying, ʻWhat will we eat?ʼ or ʻWhat will we drink?ʼ or ʻWhat will we wear?ʼ
32 For the unconverted pursue these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
33 But above all pursue his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
34 So then, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.
Who pursues those things? The unconverted. Ouch. That's what I've been worried about, even though the last month we've seen God's miraculous provision almost every single day.
Above all means... above all. That conversation and prayer with Coop woke me up. Pursuing the Kingdom first is easy to say, but do I really have faith enough to live it? No, I don't. Not in myself. But I know the One who does and who will freely give what I ask for. Like the father whose son needed a miracle in Mark 9.
Mark 9:23-24 (NET)
23 Then Jesus said to him, “ʻIf you are able?ʼ All things are possible for the one who believes.”
24 Immediately the father of the boy cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”
Long story short, the only peace I have right now is pursuing the Kingdom. Go make disciples isn't a suggestion, it's a statement of identity. Every follower is a people fisher. Every new creature is an ambassador of the ministry of reconciliation.
And yes, it's crazy. It makes little logistical sense. My spreadsheets do not compute this way. But I'm more certain than ever in my life that it's time to put my actions where my mouth is.
Tentmaking is important, but Paul didn't pursue making tents. In Acts 18, he made tents in a new place with new disciples–but primarily shared the Good News regularly with both Jews and Gentiles. Paul, I'm not, but disciple-maker I am–not a tent builder first. Not an audio guy or web developer first.
While I'm not suggesting that everyone is called to make such drastic choices and sacrifices, this is what we are called to do. But I'm also 100% human enough to think, this is insanity! How will this ever work?
Matthew 6:33 (NET)
But above all pursue his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
I either believe that or I don't. Faith isn't just what you say. Faith is pursuing what you can't see just because Jesus said it.
From this day forward, I'm going to do my best to not worry about income or tomorrow. I'm not going to be out looking for a job. I'm looking for persons of peace, looking to have more Gospel conversations and make more disciples that make disciples.
Jesus, the rest is up to You!
That doesn’t mean that I won’t be working or that I’ll be sitting around waiting for money to fall out of the sky. I'll make tents wherever You lead, but not by pursuing my needs first. Driving rideshare is not the most lucrative income source, but it's a great way to serve and meet more people in this area with opportunities for Gospel conversations.
Kingdom first. Love first. Me last.
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