God is doing something new in me. I'm seeing things so clearly... it hurts!!! Now I know why we faced all this struggle. Why we had to nearly lose everything. I wanted to change the world, but all along, God was just changing me. Answering my prayers to be like Jesus. Refining my love for both the least of these and the blindest hypocrite.
You don't know what you don't know. So many layers of fleshly desires to get through. Years of weekly fasting. Daily, honest reflection morning and evening. Praying for the harvest. Seeking the Kingdom with reckless abandon. Learning not to worry about stuff. Giving until we were beyond broke. Gut-wrenching accountability among trusted Jesus followers. Seeing the church we worked and sacrificed to plant essentially crumble. None of it made any sense.
As we seemed to be hanging on by financial and logistical threads, over and over I kept hearing, "Seek the Kingdom. Don't ask. Be faithful." Even that didn't make total sense. Yet even in my weakness an…
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